How to be a Listener

Why Listening Matters

We often think that we need the right advice, the perfect words, or some kind of solution. But in truth, what many people need most is simply someone who listens with full presence, without judgment, without fixing, and without interruption.

At Delaeni, we believe that listening is an act of love. It creates emotional safety, connection, and healing

What Makes a Good Listener?

Effective listening includes three key elements:

1. Presence

Be fully there. Put your phone down. Make eye contact if you’re in person or on video. Let the other person feel that you are not somewhere else.

2. Non-Judgment

People open up when they feel emotionally safe. You don’t have to agree or relate — you just have to allow. Avoid interrupting, analyzing, or reacting. Think:

“This is their story. I’m just here to hold it for a while.”

3. Reflection (Not Fixing)

Reflect what you’re hearing without trying to solve it. This can sound like:

“That sounds really hard.”

“You’ve been holding a lot.”

“You’re not alone.”

This helps the speaker feel understood — the core of emotional validation.

• Simple Things You Can Say While Listening

Helpful phrases:

“Tell me more…”

“That makes sense.”

“That sounds really difficult.”

“I hear you.”

Try to avoid:

“At least you…”

“You shouldn’t feel that way.”

“You’ll get over it.”

“You’re overreacting.”

The goal is not to fix their feelings, but to make room for them.

• When You’re Listening, Remember:

  Silence is okay — you don’t have to fill every space

Emotions are welcome — if someone cries, don’t rush them

If you feel unsure, just breathe — being calm and kind is enough

Who Can Be a Listener?

You don’t need special training or credentials to listen. If you’re willing to show up with empathy and presence, you already have what it takes.

Delaeni supports listeners through gentle guidance and shared values. You are not alone in this.